My Immortal
by TerminalLiteralism
Summary: When tragedy strikes, Derek is left to deal with his loss alone. Lizzie won't speak to him, his parents avoid the subject, and his friends won't even say her name. Will he be able to get over it, or will it haunt him the rest of his life?
1. My Immortal

**Hey everyone. How's it going? This is my first story, so be nice. Please, PLEASE review, because I get really discouraged if people don't tell me what they think.**

**(Also, I probably going to ask for help with the plot during the story, so keep an eye out for that.)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own LWD, but if I did...**

**_

* * *

_**

**MY IMMORTAL**

**_My Immortal_**

These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase

My Immortal – Evanescence

"Derek, are you ready yet?" Casey yelled up the stairs.

Derek came down the stairs right after she yelled. He stopped when he saw her. She had on a baby pink, short-sleeved shirt with a white tank top over it, and a jean mini skirt. Her hair was curled and pulled up in a ponytail, letting it fall right below her shoulders. He knew he was going to have his work cut out for him at the party, trying to keep the guys of her.

Derek realized he was staring and quickly looked away. Their parents still didn't that they were dating, and they wanted to keep it that way. At least until they graduated next week.

Derek grabbed his coat and keys, "We're leaving. Bye." They rushed out the door and quickly got in the car.

As soon as the house was out of sight, he turned to Casey and smiled, "You look really good." he said.

Casey could feel herself starting to blush. "Thanks," she said, shyly, "So do you." His outfit was just as nice. He had on a pair of light blue jeans, and a dark brown shirt that Casey had gotten for him at the mall the day before. She said that it brought out the color in his eyes. It could have had 'Hello Kitty' on it, and he still would've worn it, because she bought it for him.

They pulled up at the party almost an hour after Casey had wanted to get there, which meant that they only had another hour or so before they had to leave.

Most of their friends had come, but since they had been there for most of the party, so they were already bored. "Casey, Derek," Sam said, "You came. It's about time."

"Sorry." Casey said, "We had a little wardrobe problem"

"Really?" Emily said, "What kinds of problems?"

"Ask Derek." 

Derek looked embarrassed, but quickly changed the subject. "So, what's say we get our party on? 'Kay?"

"Actually, I'm getting ready to leave." Emily said, yawning, "I have family plans tomorrow, and I have to get up early."

"Guess that means I'm leaving too." Sheldon said, not taking his eyes off of Emily. Those two were head over heels for each other, and everyone knew it. 

Sam stayed talking to Derek for about fifteen minutes longer when Kendra interrupted, "Sammy," she said in a whiny voice, "I'm tired. Can we go now?"

Sam turned back to Derek, and shrugged. "Time to go, I guess. See ya D." It was still weird that Sam and Kendra were going out, not that he wished he was, but the fact that didn't seem to have anything in common only proved what Nora always told him. _Opposites really do attract, I guess. _

Casey came up to him a couple minutes later, clearly disappointed, "Can we just go now?" she said. They had only been at the party for twenty minutes, but even Derek, who lived for these things, was already bored.

"Sure," he said, "Let's go." 

As if on cue, when Derek started driving, it started raining.

Derek looked over at Casey and saw her wipe away a tear. "Casey, are you mad at me?" he asked.

She toward the window and shook her head, "No." she lied. She _was_ mad at him for taking forever to get ready and making her miss the last party she would get to go to before she left to Hawaii and Derek left for California for summer vacation. Now, she wouldn't get to see her friends until she got back, in six weeks.

"Look, I'm sorry I made us late." Derek said, breaking the silence that had lingered in the car. "I know how important this party was to you. I mean, it was important to me too. But it was an accident. I didn't mean to take so long."

"Speaking of accidents," Casey said, giving him an angry look, "could we maybe get off this street? It's dark, it's raining, and there are no other cars around."

"What does that have to do with accidents?" he said.

"Well, did it ever occur to you that if we do get in an accident, no one would know, and we'd be stuck out here, bleeding to death, until some poor person, not expecting to find two dead people in a smashed up car, will drive by with their kids in the car an-"

"Case!" Derek interrupted her. He knew for sure that something was bothering her then. She had a tendency of rambling on about nothing when she was upset. "Chill, ok? Nothing is going to happen to us."

"Why'd you have to pick the darkest street anyway?" she said, starting to calm down.

"For the exact reason you just said. Almost. First, there's no one on this street, so there's less chances for an accident. Second, it's raining, so I want to get home as soon as possible, and this is the shortest way. And third, well, there isn't a third. But, you get the idea."

"But what if something does happen? Who's gonna find us?" she said, worriedly.

"My phone is in my pocket, fully charged." Derek said, gently grabbing her hand in an attempt to reassure her. "Don't worry, Casey. We'll be fine."

"I know." she said looking at her hand, a small smile creeping along her face. "I just am." 

He slowly pulled her hand up to his lips and placed a small kiss on it, which he knew from experience, always helped calm her nerves. Still, even with that, she couldn't help thinking everything _wasn't _going to be fine, but she didn't tell Derek.

After a few minutes, the silence became unbearable. Casey turned on the radio and heard one of her favorite songs. "Oh my gosh, I love this song." she said, starting to sing along.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me

Derek glanced at her and smiled. He loved watching Casey sing and dance along to music. It was as if she could feel the music moving inside of her. He loved music, but not nearly as much as she did.

Casey looked at him when the song was over, and noticed that his eyes were starting to droop, and the grip he had on her hand had loosened slightly. "Derek," she said softly, "do you want me to drive? You look tried"

"No, I'm fine," he said, opening his eyes wide and shaking his head, trying to squeeze the last bit of energy from his body. He had been really worried about Casey going all the way to Hawaii by herself for 6 weeks, and therefore, hadn't slept much the last couple weeks. What was he going to do for six weeks while they were apart? 

They tried to convince their parents that they should both go to the same place, instead of being split up, but they said that they would fight to much, and possibly kill each other, if they were by themselves for that long. They both knew this wasn't true, but since they couldn't tell they're parents that they were together, they would have to deal with this.

"Derek," she said, "you're tired. Let me drive."

"Case," Derek said, "it's raining, it's dark, and you don't have your license yet."

"But I have my permit, and you're a licensed driver."

"Casey, no."

"But-"

"Case, I said no." Derek snapped back. Casey sat back in her seat and looked out the window. She knew he only snapped at her because he was tired, but that didn't mean it didn't upset her. 'Fine" she pouted back. 

Derek heard the hurt in her voice and immediately felt guilty. "Casey, I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind right now."

"Wanna talk about it?" she said, putting her hand on his that was on the gearshift.

"I'm just, I'm worried." He said, finally getting the courage to tell her. "I _really_ don't want you to go to Hawaii by yourself. What if something happens to you, and I'm not there? How am I going to concentrate with you all the way across the Pacific Ocean?"

"Derek, I don't want to go without you either, but our only other choice is tell them the truth, and then they really won't let us go together. I don't see any way we can get out of this one." 

"Yeah," He said sadly, "I know. I just wis-"

"Derek! Look out!" Casey said, but it was too late. Derek looked at the truck coming straight for them, then at Casey's face. In that split second, he saw the fear in her eyes, and he knew this was real. 

Suddenly, he heard a crash, and an instant pain washed over his body, as he heard Casey scream, then go silent. He could feel the car tumbling over and over. Then, It stopped, the crashing sound taken over by a deathly silence.

After a couple minutes, he opened his eyes and saw that his car was a complete wreck. _What happened? What's with my car? _Then he remembered, the party, the drive, the conversation, the truck, and the crash. _Wait, what about…_ "CASEY!"

* * *

**♥So... what do you think? I don't live in Canada, so I'm not shure if people have drivers permits or what the driving laws are out there, but oh well. Hope you enjoy it. Plz review, because I won't update until I get 10 reviews. I think. Thanx a google.♥**


	2. Whispers In The Dark

**Sorry it took so long. I was _sooo_ busy, you have no idea. Here's Chapter two.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Life With Derek. If I did, I wouldn't be on here. I'd be working.

* * *

**

**_Whispers In The Dark_**

You'll never be alone  
When darkness comes I'll light the night with stars  
Hear my whispers in the dark  
No  
You'll never be alone  
When darkness comes you know I'm never far  
Hear my whispers in the dark 

_Skillet-Whispers In The Dark_

Derek's gaze instantly fell to Casey sitting in the passenger seat. It was hard to see her, since it was so dark, but what he could see were dark splatters on her shirt, and a dark spot on her head. He tried to turn towards her, but it hurt to move. Nothing felt broken though, so he figured it was just cuts and bruises and continued moving, despite the pain. Even as close as he was, he couldn't see her very well. Then, it hit him. My cell phone!

As quick as he could, he pulled it out, and let the dim light shine on Casey. The sight of Casey was almost unbearable. Her clothes were streaked with blood, and the cut on her forehead was still running with fresh blood. Her head lulled to the side, and she didn't look like she was breathing.

Derek's side was less damaged then hers, so he was able to turn his entire body towards her. He gently put his hands on her shoulders and tried to wake her. "Cas-" he tried, but his throat felt dry and dusty. "Casey? Come on Case, Wake up. Please." He bought his phone close and dialed 911. "911 emergency response," the woman on the other end said.

He calmed his voice as much as he could and started. "I need an ambulance. We were in an accident on the 85."

"Who's in the car with you?" the woman said.

"My gir- step-sister. I don't think she's breathing. I don- I don't know what to do." He said, starting to lose it.

"We've already sent someone out to the scene. Stay on the line until they get the-" Derek left them on the line, and placed it on the seat. He couldn't deal with it right now. As long as someone was coming, that's all that mattered. He placed Casey's hand in his and softly ran his hands over her hair, trying again to wake her. "Case? Please wake up. Please, please, wake up." Derek could feel the tears starting to form in his eyes. How could this happen?

It seemed like hours before the ambulance came. They tried to get him out first, but he wouldn't go. "No, get her out first." They pried Casey's door open and felt for a pulse. "It's there," the EMT said, "but it's weak. We have to get her to the hospital." Derek breathed a sigh of relief when he saw she was alive, but knew that it wasn't over.

Now that he wasn't as worried about her, he could feel the pain of his injuries from the crash. His arm and ankle felt like they were broken, but he could still slightly move them, so he knew they were fine, but they still hurt.

They helped him out of the car and put him on a stretcher. He wished he could've seen Casey before they took her, but he knew they had to get her there soon. The ride to the hospital was bumpy and painful, since he was laying on his back, witch is where most of the cuts had been. As they were driving, a million things went through his head. _What if the something happened to the ambulance? How am I gonna tell dad and Nora? What about-_ wait. How would he tell them? "Can I call my parents?"

The EMT shook his head. "Not right now. You'll have to wait until we get to the hospital."

When they reached the hospital, Derek went to step out, but as soon as he put pressure on his foot, it gave way. It didn't hurt, it was just uncomfortable. One of the paramedics ran inside and came back with a wheelchair, motioning for Derek to sit down. He really didn't want to be taken into the ER in a wheelchair, but he certainly didn't want to walk on his foot, so he gave in and sat down. The paramedic handed him off to a young nurse and they went on their way.

She wheeled him down the many hallways and corridors, to his room. As they passed the operating room, Derek asked her to stop. She did, and Derek stood up, looking into the room. In the small, crowded room, were four doctors, a nurse, and Casey. His heart wretched as he looked at her, lying on the table, doctors scrambling all around her. He placed his hand on the glass and softly whispered her name.

"Oh, Casey." he said, tears stinging his eyes again, threatening to fall. Not now, he thought, holding them back as he had before, crying isn't going to help Casey. He sat back down into the chair and put his head in his hands. The nurse continued pushing him to his room, softly speaking words of comfort. "Don't worry," she said in a calming voice, "it'll be okay. She'll be fine. She's in good hands."

They finally reached his room and the nurse put a hand on his shoulder once more. "The doctor will be in shortly." she walked out of the room and shut the door. About ten minutes later, the doctor had come, asked his questions and concluded that he had a sprained wrist and a twisted ankle. He instructed him no hockey for at least a week, to give him plenty of time to rest, and no heavy lifting. Derek thought it would've been a lot worse, but he wasn't about to complain. He went into the waiting room and dialed their parents. He quickly explained what had happened. "…So I need you and my dad to come down here."

"Is Casey okay?" Nora asked franticly.

"I'm… I'm not sure. They haven't said anything."

"Okay, we'll be down there in a little bit." With that, Nora hung up, leaving Derek to worry alone. All he could do was pace and think about her. Twenty minutes later, when their parents got there, he was still pacing. He didn't stop until an hour later, when Marti was tired and asked if he would hold her. Even though she was almost eight, she loved being held by her big brother. It made her feel safe, like nothing would hurt her. And he loved holding her. Second only to Casey, there was no one he loved more in the world.

He looked around the room at his family. Nora had fallen asleep on George's shoulder, his head resting on hers. Edwin was sleeping on the floor, with Lizzie sleeping on his lap, and his arm on her back. Derek was just starting to close his eyes when he heard the door open. He saw the doctor walking toward them, so he picked up Marti and set her down next to Edwin. He stood up and woke up his parents, then turned back to the doctor. "How is she? How's Casey?"

The next three words that he heard were the worst that had ever been put together. The doctor responded with one short sentence. "I'm very sorry..."

**

* * *

**

**Poor, poor Derek.** **If you watched the video on my page, you'd know what happens next. **

**Like I said, I don't live in Canada, so I don't know the procedures of hospitals, or anything. **

**The next update might mot come for awhile, since I still have to write it, (this one was finished in a notebook,) But I will Update ASAP. R&R Plz. (If you have a youtube channel, review on there. The link is on my page.)**


	3. Broken

**Hey ppl. Sorry for the long(er) update. I had to Completely write this chapter from scratch. Well, all of them are written from scratch, but I have most of them in notebooks, and this one wasn't. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: This is such a pain. I do not own LWD. Maybe someday...

* * *

**

**_Broken_**

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

_Broken-Seether Ft. Amy Lee_

Derek's world shattered at the sound of the doctors words. _Dead? He thought, No, she- she can't be dead. She was just alive. I just saw her._ Every second that passed, he took a step back towards the door. "Derek, are you okay?" he heard, but wasn't sure who said it, or even comprehend what it meant. All he did was shake his head.

Without even thinking, he ran out of the hospital, ignoring his family calling out to him. He didn't know where he was gonna go, just that he had to get away from there.

As he ran, hundreds of memories ran through his mind. The first time he saw her. The first time she smiled at him. All of the fights they had. All of the times he ended apologizing, even though it was her fault. The first time he saw her cry. The night he realized he was in love with her. The night he actually admitted it. Their first kiss. The morning Lizzie and Edwin found out. The day they found out that they would be going to opposite ends of the world for six weeks. The party the night before. The fear in her eyes as she saw the truck coming towards them.

He had been running for at least twenty minutes, thinking of everything that had happened, when he finally stopped. His legs felt like jelly, and sweat poured off of him. He could hear Casey's voice, calling his name. He fell to his knees, put his head in his hands, and let out the tears he had been holding in all this time. "Why her?" he yelled into his hands. "Why did you take my Casey? Why couldn't you take me instead?"

He stayed there on his knees for an hour, crying and saying her name over and over. He finally pulled himself up off the ground and looked at his surroundings. He ended being only a couple blocks from school, so he made the impossible journey home, his legs begging him to rest.

When he got home, his dad walked over to him and hugged him hard. Derek stayed stiff, knowing that if he hugged his dad back, he would break down again. He walked up to his room miserably and collapsed onto his bed. He put he face into his pillow and cried himself to sleep. He didn't know what he would do without her, but he knew his life would never be the same.

* * *

Sorry this is such a short chapter, but it was more of a filler. I _really_ wanted to get to the next chapter. R & R plz. 


	4. Say Goodbye

**Hey ppl. I am SOOOO sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I was stuck. I finally put it all down on paper, in the computer, and on the site. **

**Enjoy!**

**Discloser: I own nothing, except what goes on in my head...**

**_

* * *

_**

**_Say Goodbye_**

Don't say goodbye  
Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight  
Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I  
And although we knew  
This time would come for me and you  
Don't say anything tonight  
If you're gonna say goodbye

_Say Goodbye-Skillet_

_Where am I? Derek thought as he looked around. All he could see was white. It was just a white room. Suddenly, a figure was in the room with him._

_"Derek..."_

_"Who's there?"_

_"Derek...why?"_

_"What?"_

_"Why did you let that happen, Derek? I thought you loved me."_

_"Casey? Is that you?"_

_The figure turned toward him and he saw it was. "Casey," he said as he ran to her, but was stopped by an unknown force. "Wait, what?"_

_She turned away from him and slowly walked away. "No, Casey come back. Casey..._

"Casey!" he yelled as he sat up in bed. It was a dream. No, a nightmare. One of the worst so far. A week had passed since her funeral, and he was still having nightmares about what happened. He sat on the edge of the bed, put his head down, and let the tears fall silently. How was he ever gonna get over this? Casey was his life. His reason for getting up in the morning. And he killed her. Even worse, he walked away with nothing more then a few scratches. He was fine, while she was dead. It was the worst feeling in the world.

After a few minutes of crying, he heard someone come in his room. "Derek?" said a voice he recognized as Edwin, "Are you okay?"

Derek looked up at him and instantly Edwin knew the answer. "No," he said in a raspy voice, "I'm not.

"It's Casey, isn't it?"

He turned his head down and a new wave of tears fell down his face. "I don't know what to do. She was my life. She was the one person - the only person - I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

"I know. We all cared about her-"

"But I loved her." Derek interrupted, "I was the one who was supposed to protect her, and I killed her." 

Edwin sighed, "I know you loved her, but you were not responsible for her. You were her step-brother and boyfriend, but not her husband."

"But I was going to be." Derek added quietly. 

Edwin's face turned confused. "Wh-what?"

Derek looked up at his brother, then back to the floor, "It was a couple days before she died..."

_It was a Sunday, a rainy one at that. Everyone had gone to the store, except Casey and Derek. They both were on the couch, snuggled in each others arms, watching TV, when Derek decided to put his plan into action. "Lets go somewhere."_

_Casey looked up at him and cocked her head, "Where?"_

_"I know the perfect place. But it's a surprise."_

_"You know I hate surprises."_

_"Even when they involve me?" he said, putting on his famous grin, which caused her to smile. "Well," she said, "Not always."_

_"That's what I thought." he said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. "Now, go get ready, doesn't matter what you wear, and meet me down here in ten minutes."_

_She agreed and ran upstairs. Ten minutes later exactly, she walked down the stairs. Derek was amazed that, after all the time they had been together, she could still take his breath away by simply walking down the stairs. "Wow.." _

_She smiled, "Now, why do you always do that when I come down the stairs?"_

_"Because it's like seeing an angel every time I see you."_

_She blushed, "Oh, thank you."_

_They got in the car, and Derek told her to put a blindfold on. "Why?" she asked suspiciously._

_"'Cause otherwise it won't be a surprise." he said. She obeyed and put it on. _

_It had stopped raining, but it looked like it was gonna start up again soon, so Derek had to hurry. His plan was to take her to the lake, the location of their first date, and ask her something very important. He had been planning this for at least two weeks, and was just waiting for the right time. And since their one year anniversary was tomorrow, and he really didn't think he would be able to wait another day, he decided that now was perfect. _

_When they got there, Derek got a picnic basket out off the trunk that he had packed while she was changing, then ran around to her side, opened the door, and helped her out. "When can I take this thing off?" Casey said, pulling at the blindfold. _

_"Just wait." He said, holding it on her eyes so she couldn't pull it down. As they got to the table, he decided she had waited long enough and said, "Okay, now."_

_She quickly took it off and gasped at the sight. They had the most beautiful view of the lake. The clouds decided they were done and had started to part, letting the sunlight through. There were even ducks in the water at the time. "Oh my gosh," she whispered, "It's beautiful." _

_Derek looked at her and smiled. "Yeah."_

_She turned back to him and kissed him. "I love it." After they had finished eating, he spread a blanket out on the grass, and they sat there talking and watching the ducks. They laughed and talked and laughed some more. Finally, when it started getting dark, they packed up everything and walked back to the car. "This day was perfect." she said as they put everything in. _

_Derek looked at her and grabbed her hand. "Case, I have to ask you something."_

_The smile on her face changed to a look that Derek couldn't decipher. "What is it?" she said._

_He ran his hand through his hair and sighed nervously. "Casey, we've been together for a year tomorrow, and I know it's quick, but you've made me feel things this past year that I didn't know I could feel. I always thought that love was just something you said to someone, but I never knew it made you do stupid, crazy things you never would have done before. Like getting good grades to impress someone, or acting like a complete idiot in front of you because I can't concentrate when I see you. But, all that has led us here."_

_He got down on his knee, pulled out a box from his pocket, and opened it, revealing a small, silver band with a little gold infinity symbol on it. She put her hand up to her mouth and gasped, "Wha..."she whispered._

_"Casey, I love you, more then anything else in this world, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. We obviously don't have to get married now, 'cause we're still too young, but I want you to have this until we're older and we can. It's a promise ring, meaning we'll always be together, no matter what happens. So, Casey MacDonald, will you promise to be with me forever?"_

_With tears rolling down her face, she knelt down, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. When she could speak again, she whispered in his ear, "Yes, Derek Venturi, I promise." They knew they would have to keep it a secret, but not much longer, since graduation was in a few weeks. As he drove her home, he looked over at her and smiled that secret smile that he saved only for her…_

"Wow. Derek, I had no idea."

"No one did. We wanted to keep it like that until we were done with high school. Now, it doesn't matter." Once again, the tears came, but this time, Edwin went over to him and embraced him. "It's okay Derek, it's okay."

"I just… I miss her so much." Derek said as he cried. After a while, he stopped and Edwin went back to bed, leaving him there alone with his thoughts. He dreaded falling asleep, cause he knew he would dream of Casey. He hadn't slept good since the accident, so his exhaustion got the better of him and he drifted off. 

**

* * *

**

**I don't think it came out as good as it could've, but I was so anxious to get to this chapter. PLEASE let me know how it came out. **

**Also, thanx a google to jayley, who told me about the promise ring instead of an engagement ring. I got the idea for what the ring looked like from a movie I saw once. **

**The next chapter might be awhile, since I'm kinda stuck right now. Sorry. R & R Plz.**


	5. VERY IMPORTANT AN:

**Hey everyone, VERY IMPORTANT AN:**

**I apologize profusely, but unfortunately I will not be able to update for a few more weeks. I will still continue the story, and hopefully finish by the time I get the computer, but I do not type fast enough, and my time on here has been limited to 30 minutes a night. **

**Just wanted to let everyone know, and once again, I apologize.**


	6. The Older I Get

**I would like to apologize for taking so long in updating. This chapter was two paragraphs from being done a few days ago, but before I could finish, my brother got on the computer and just like that, I forgot what I was gonna write. I don't think it came out as good as it could've, but I keep getting ahead of myself in the chapters and can't wait to do the next one. I already have the basic storyline done for it, but I can't tell you when to expect it, because I now realize how hard it is to update consistently. **

**Anywho, I would like to thank my reviewers, especially Reverse Psychology, (a.k.a. Amanda) for reviewing and just being my best friend. Love ya sweetie :-)**

**Disclaimer: Life with Derek is not mine. It belongs to the meany-beany writers who are making us wait until the end of season 4 before they put Dasey on. **

**_

* * *

_**

_The Older I Get_

The older I get  
Will I get over it?  
It's been way too long for the times we missed  
I didn't know then it would hurt like this but I think  
The older I get  
Maybe I'll get over it  
It's been way too long for the times we missed  
I can't believe it still hurts like this

The Older I Get-Skillet

Derek woke up the next morning in a cold sweat. As he predicted, he had another dream about Casey after he fell asleep. Unlike the others however, this was about the actual crash. More of a memory then a dream. He saw the accident exactly as it happened, even Casey's face as she saw the car coming toward them. Just as the car hit them, he woke up, his heart racing. He heard the loud noises of cartoons coming from the living room, meaning Marti was already awake. Slowly, he got out of bed and went down the stairs. When Marti saw him, she ran over to him. "Morning Smerek." she said as she jumped into his arms, hugging him.

"Morning Smarti." he said, looking at her face as he held her. A small smile appeared on her face as she squeezed him. Derek envied the smile she had. _How can she be happy while my life feels like it's falling apart? _he thought. He put her down and made his way to the kitchen. Edwin was eating something that resembled scrambled eggs. "Did dad try and make breakfast again?" he said, staring at the plate of 'food.'

Edwin nodded his head. "Yup, then he went to work."

"This early?"

"Derek, it's already eleven."

Derek looked over at the clock and shook his head. "Oh. Where's Nora?"

Edwin frowned and pointed to the basement door. "She's been in there since we came home from the funeral."

"Must be hard for her."

"Well, she just lost her daughter. Maybe you should go and talk to her. You know, since you both are going through the same thing."

Derek nodded his head and sighed. _Guess it couldn't hurt, _He thought as he walked to the basement door. He could hear her crying from the top of the stairs. Not the loud, sobbing kind of cry, but more like the soft whimper that he had heard with Casey many times before. The sound alone nearly made him start again.

When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he saw Nora sitting at the edge of her bed holding a framed picture of Casey, tears scattered across the glass. "Nora?" he said, walking toward her.

She turned to see who it was. "Derek, sweetie, hi." she said, wiping her eyes. "Um, did you need something?"

"No," he said, feeling somewhat out of place as he kept his eyes on the picture Nora held. It didn't look like one he had seen before, yet somehow it was familiar to him. In it, Casey was sitting on a bench in the park with Nora and Lizzie on either side of her and a man sitting with Nora, his arm around her shoulders. Derek recognized him as Casey's dad, Dennis, from when he had come to dinner. His eyes drifted back to Casey, her smile seeming to brighten the entire picture. _She looks so happy. _Derek thought, as the tears threatened to come again. He fought them backas he spoke up again. "Ho- how are you? With everything, I mean."

Nora motioned for him to sit next to her. "Not good. I mean, I know she's in a better place now, but it's hard. I can still remember the first time I held her in my arms like it was yesterday. She was so young, she had her whole life ahead of her. Her graduation was in two weeks, and she was looking forward to it so much."

Derek looked down at the floor, feeling the horrible feeling that he had been dealing with the last week come over him again. _It's all my fault_, he thought, as the tears that had been threatening earlier slowly rolled down his face and onto the concrete floor below. _It's because of me she won't be here to graduate. How could I be so stupid? _

Nora looked at him, sensing he was upset, and put her hand on his back to comfort him. "Derek, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

Derek kept his eyes on the floor. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault."

Nora's eyes widened as she slowly moved her arm up and down, "Is that what you think? That it's _your_ fault? Sweetie, no one _meant_ for it to happen. It was an accident. I don't blame you for Casey's death."

Derek looked up at Nora, "You don't?" he said.

"Of course not. Like I said, it was an accident." Nora said in a quiet voice. Something about her voice made him do what he was dreading. Telling her the truth.

"Nora, I have something to tell you." Derek said hesitantly, staring at the floor once again.

"What is it?"

"Me and Casey…" he said, sighing, "Well, we… We were dating. We had been for about a year. Since the end of junior year."

Nora looked at him and smiled. "I know."

Derek's eyes shot up in disbelief, "What?"

"Derek, I'm a mother. Did you really think you could keep something like that from me? Besides, Marti let it slip one day."

"And here I thought she was good at keeping secrets." Derek mumbled.

Nora chuckled lightly, then looked back at Derek, "Are you going to be okay?"

He really didn't know how to answer. As of right now, no, he wasn't going to be okay. His life was torn apart at the seams. Every thing that was good in his life was taken away in an instant, and it hurt. It hurt more then anything he had ever felt. It hurt to eat, to talk, to move, to think… To live. Every thought, every memory, revolved around Casey, and it killed him inside more and more every time. "I don't know. Like you said, she's in a better place, but there's a part of me that wants her back in my arms again. Like the best place for her is right here with me." Derek said, pausing to wipe away a stray tear from his face. "I guess I'm just being selfish."

Nora just gave him a sad smile. "You're not being selfish. I want her back too."

Derek went to look at her, but saw that she was already gone. Sighing, he got up and went in his room to get ready for the busy day ahead. Kendra and Emily had decided to throw Sam a surprise birthday party. Being Sam's friend, he was expected to bring a few things, such as drinks and chips. He really didn't feel like going to a party, but he knew he had to get out of the house somehow. Just being here brought back memories to painful to think about.

As he walked up the stairs, he glanced at the wall, looking at the pictures that decorated it. There were some of Edwin and Marti, Nora and his dad's wedding picture, a cute one of Lizzie, and one that had been added today, by Nora he guessed. It was the picture Casey always used as a bookmark. It was a photo strip he and Casey had taken a month or so ago. In the first picture he had his arm on her shoulder. The second, They were making funny faces to each other. The third was them laughing at something, (probably at a joke he had told.) And the last was his favorite. Just as the camera was about to take the picture, Derek had turned to her and kissed her cheek.

Derek loved that picture, and was tempted to take it to his room, but knew it was better to keep it on the wall. That way everyone could enjoy it.

* * *

**I actually had it a little different in my mind, but I think it came out okay. I've always liked when they put Derek and Nora talks on the show, but they're few and far between, so I thought I'd put my own in here. I'm changing a few insignificant things in some of the earlier chapters, so you can either go back and look for them, or just forget it. They're not important anyway, I'm just a perfectionist when it comes to my writing.**

**I'm very sorry for my long authors notes, but I always have a lot to say. Anywho, Please review, because this time I'm serious, I'm not posting until I get ten reviews. That's not to much to ask for, considering I have, like, 300 views or something. Even if it's to say to hurry up and update, I'd like to hear from you.**

**I think that's it. Review my pretties!  
---Riss**


	7. PLZ READ!

**PLZ READ!!!!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!!**

**First off, I just got a job and don't know how my time is going to split up, so my updates may be even longer then normal. Just to clear that up.**

**Second, I know people are reading this story, and I'm really enjoying writing it, but I've made a very big dection and I wanted to let everyone know.**

**I'm deleting this story. Now, before you kill me, I'm letting you know why. While I was writing tonight, I realized there was a lot of things that I've forgotten. So, I'm deleting it and rewriting it. I'll leave this up until I finish everything, but I just wanted to let you know.**

**Plz don't give up on me, I'm still going to write it. Thanx.**

**-Riss**


End file.
